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  “And you just accepted it?”

  “I wasn’t going to beg, Vera. Not after all we’d been through.”

  “But you didn’t understand.” Vera glanced down, unable to look into her husband’s eyes.

  “Then explain it to me.”

  They were silent for a moment.

  “After Garret was born,” Vera began, “I was just so tired and I couldn’t sleep. I felt so guilty, because I wasn’t happy. I had two healthy boys but that didn’t matter to me. Sometimes…sometimes I just didn’t want to live anymore.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “Say what? As it was, your mother thought I was a horrible mother. And after a few months, it got better, and I started feeling like myself again. But then Russell was born, and it was even worse than after Garret’s birth.”

  “In what way?”

  “I was so depressed, and when I looked at Russell, I just wanted him to go away. I know that’s a horrible thing to admit, but that’s how I felt. I didn’t feel like eating, I couldn’t sleep, and being intimate with you—I couldn’t bear the thought. But it wasn’t you, Harrison. It was me.” Vera looked to the floor for a moment.

  “One day…” Vera looked up into Harrison’s face. “I have never told anyone this before, and while I don’t think Garret remembers, I suspect he remembers something.”

  “What happened, Vera?”

  “Russell was about three months old, and I just couldn’t handle his incessant crying. His neediness.”

  “But he was just three months old.”

  “I know that.” Vera smiled sadly. “But at the time I didn’t care. All I wanted was for the pain to stop. I took Russell upstairs, to the third floor—to one of the rooms with a balcony. Garret followed us up there, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

  “I went out onto the balcony with Russell.” Vera closed her eyes, visualizing the long ago event. “It was breezy that day. The air felt so good on my face. While holding Russell in my arms, I stepped up onto the ledge of the balcony, fully intending to jump.”

  “Oh my god.” Harrison’s face went ashen.

  “Garret ran onto the balcony and shouted for me to get down. He was frightened. He was about eight at the time. I held out my hand and asked him to join me. I told him we could fly.”

  “Good lord,” Harrison muttered. He felt ill.

  “And then, something pushed me, right off the ledge, back onto the balcony. I don’t know how I managed it, but Russell was still safe in my arms. By this time, Garret had run out of the room, terrified, I suppose. And then I saw her.”

  “You saw who?”

  “Your mother. As clear as you sitting there. And then, she vanished. Falling seemed to snap me back to my senses, and I was horrified at what I’d almost done. Not just to me but to our sons. I immediately went to find Garret. I convinced him I was just playing. I told him it was foolish play, and he promised not to say anything.”

  “My mother?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I suppose it was some sort of hallucination. After that, I tried to stay away from Russell… away from Garret. I didn’t want to hurt them. By the time Russell was almost a year old, I started feeling normal again. But by that time, I had pushed everyone away; I didn’t feel there was any way to repair the damage.”

  “I’ve heard about this before, with other women. Did you ever discuss this with the doctor, at the sanitarium?”

  “No, I was too ashamed. As it was, we discussed our marriage—our courtship. He helped me understand myself a little better. But I couldn’t tell him about the thoughts I had about hurting our boys—myself. What type of a monster wants to hurt her child?”

  “I don’t believe you’re a monster, Vera. In your own way, you tried to protect them by keeping your distance.” He noticed her brushing away tears. “How do you feel about me?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “What are your feelings toward me?”

  Their eyes met. “I love you, Harrison. I’ve always been in love with you.”

  Harrison stood up and walked toward his wife. She watched silently as he offered her his hand. She accepted it and stood up.

  “I don’t want to go on as we have. I’d like to have a real marriage,” Harrison told her, his voice barely a whisper.

  “Do you think that’s possible?”

  “All we can do is try, Vera… All we can do is try.”

  Chapter 32

  During the summer of 1971, Coulson Enterprises, in its campaign to boost its public image, purchased new bleachers for the local high school’s football field. It was just one of the many philanthropic projects backed by Coulson Enterprises.

  Randall Coulson had recently established a non-profit organization, based in Coulson and headed by his eldest grandson, who had recently returned to the community with his new bride, Shelly. At first, Shelly objected to the move, until Randall took her aside and explained the terms of his will.

  “Do you like Coulson House?” Randall had asked Sonny’s new wife.

  “It’s amazing,” Shelly said. While she wasn’t overly impressed with the community of Coulson, she had fallen in love with the magnificent estate.

  “Then perhaps you need to be aware of the arrangements I’ve made. When I die, Coulson House goes to my son. When Harrison passes, the estate goes to his oldest son—or to that son’s eldest heir. So someday, Coulson House will belong to your husband. But there’s no reason to wait, you can enjoy the estate now and treat it as your own home. If you move back to Coulson, I’ll turn over the east wing to you and young Harrison, and someday the entire property will be his.”

  Wanting to reside in the castle on the hill, Shelly agreed to the move. The one thing she found disappointing was Garret and Russell’s apparent disinterest that someday Coulson House would belong to her—and not to them. She couldn’t believe her brother-in-laws didn’t secretly covet the property.

  In spite of Garret’s business acumen, he continued to be a reckless spirit. With his grandfather and the Harrisons’ attentions turned toward politics, he was pressured to practice some discretion, which he managed to do to some extent. Now a successful and wealthy businessman, Garret seemed incapable of finding contentment in his personal life.

  Since he hadn’t lived at Coulson House for years, he hadn’t observed the subtle changes in his parent’s marriage, nor the fact his father now slept in his mother’s room each night. Garret continued to carry the baggage of his youth.

  Russell returned for homecoming in October of 1971, yet he didn’t bring Alicia with him, who was now his fiancé. Randall insisted his youngest grandson make a showing at homecoming with Garret, since they had each graduated from the local high school, and it was a public relations opportunity. Technically speaking, Sonny had not graduated from the local high school but from the original school that had been converted from a K-12 to an elementary school, during Garret’s junior year.

  It was halftime during the homecoming game. Garret and Russell sat next to each other on the crowded football bleachers. Garret glanced at his watch, impatient for the game to commence and eventually end so he could take off. While he enjoyed football, watching a high school game held little appeal. Nor was he especially interested in sitting through the parade of convertibles now making their way between the football field and bleachers.

  The cars carried contenders for the homecoming king and queen. Even when he was in high school, he found such pageantry exceedingly boring. When the convertibles stopped, he glanced up and saw her, the contender in the car directly in front of him, not ten feet away.

  Startled by his body’s physical reaction to the young woman, Garret could just stare. It wasn’t an embarrassing bulge in his pants, something that would hardly be politically prudent considering she was just a child, maybe seventeen. The sensation was more like someone had punched him in the gut and he needed to catch his breath. Even so, Garret was uncomfortable with his fascination over a fresh fac
ed beauty, making him feel a bit like a gawking pervert.

  Smiling to the crowd, she turned toward him, but he doubted she was looking at anyone in particular. She was everything he was not—wholesome, innocent, an unspoiled beauty with her entire life ahead of her. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and protect her.

  He nudged Russell. “Who in the hell is that?” Garret nodded to the brunette in the first car, her long hair cascading down her back.

  “Alex Chamberlain, you know, her mom was your algebra teacher.”

  “Holy shit. I certainly was right." Garret smiled, wishing he were ten years younger.

  “Right about what?”

  “She's a heartbreaker.” Garret had no way of knowing that in fourteen years the heart she would be breaking was his.

  Coulson’s Lessons

  Return to Coulson in Coulson’s Lessons

  After losing her beloved husband in a car accident, Alexandra is left to raise her teenage son alone. Coming to terms with life as a single mother is difficult enough, yet now she must face the sins of her past when Garret Coulson returns to town.

  * * *

  Grandson of the town's founder, the wealthy and powerful Garret Coulson fell in love with another man's wife, resulting in a self-imposed exile. With that man dead, Garret can return to claim what should have been his.

  * * *

  For ten years, Alexandra has kept the secret of her infidelity. The fact she is now a widow does not make that secret any less painful to reveal. Some secrets have the power to shatter lives - yet sometimes they heal hearts.

  The Coulson Series

  by Anna J. McIntyre

  Coulson’s Wife

  Coulson’s Crucible

  Coulson’s Lessons

  Coulson’s Secret

  Coulson’s Reckoning

  * * *

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  Unlocked Hearts Series

  by Anna J. McIntyre

  Sundered Hearts

  After Sundown

  While Snowbound

  Sugar Rush

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  Bobbi Holmes

  Also known as Anna J. McIntyre

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  Haunting Danielle Series

  by Bobbi Holmes

  The Ghost of Marlow House, Book 1

  The Ghost Who Loved Diamonds, Book 2

  The Ghost Who Wasn’t, Book 3

  The Ghost Who Wanted Revenge, Book 4

  The Ghost of Halloween Past, Book 5

  The Ghost Who Came for Christmas, Book 6

  The Ghost of Valentine Past, Book 7

  The Ghost from the Sea, Book 8

  The Ghost and the Mystery Writer, Book 9

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  Havasu Palms, A Hostile Takeover

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